"Can't Everyone Just Shut Up and Let Me Work?": How to Communicate During Those Monster Project Periods

(I was MIA last week. I'm never MIA, but I was MIA. I'm going to be less gone here pretty soon... adding some new and more frequent blog features. That's right, even more communication advice, so stay tuned! In the meantime, my back was against the wall last week in a way that I haven't experienced in a while. I know my college readers can relate and I'm sure my non-college audience can, too. That's why I felt this topic was most appropriate. I'll be sharing exciting updates very soon about blog changes and book news! Now, let's talk. I've missed you in the past week!)


200+ pages.

When I was in grad school, in one particular term, the number of required papers added up to this number.

Now I remember that semester well. I rarely saw the light of day, my friends, my husband... clean clothes.

Big joke among my colleagues was that you pulled out the least stinky shirt/pants from the laundry heap and wore it without thinking twice. We tried be presentable without being offensive. Our focus? Doing well on our papers (so many of them!), hopefully getting to present at a conference or two, maybe scoring an early co-authorship on a publication, and maintaining high grades to keep our assistantships.

That's right... many of my classmates and I wore two (smelly!) hats: graduate teaching assistants/research assistants and college students writing an insane number of papers!

I remember I didn't necessarily have to ask for time to get my work done because my husband and I agreed together that I would go back to graduate school. We didn't have kids at the time, and we both accepted that sacrificing time from each other would pay off later.

And I wasn't smelling so great, so do you think my husband was really missing me? Just sayin'.

Fast forward 14 years and 10 days...

I was told by my editor of my soon-to-be-published book, "You need to cut about 100 pages from your manuscript." 

(A station break: For anyone reading this space for a while, you go right ahead and just revel... revel in your rightness... I knowwwww that brevity is not my strong suit. I own it. I'm working through it. Counseling is on Thursday.

I'm thinking lots of time away from family and friends to
get this move down... what say you?

Just kidding about that last part. Not that there's anything wrong with counseling. I love counseling!).

These days, taking that "cocoon time" to get work done isn't so easy anymore. I have two little people who demand my attention. I have a dual role on phase 2 of this grant project while I've stepped away from teaching through this academic year.

I'm The Chicklets roller derby carpool organizer. 

I have to exercise 6 days a week or risk gaining 5 more lbs.

My little guy needs a 4th birthday party planned.

We have no bread in the house to make yet another (*&%$#*!) peanut butter and jelly sandwich! (Ooh, did I say that out loud? Who doesn't love making PBJ... again?)

My husband has his own high-octane career and is traveling. Again.  Sigh.

However, I also have a dream. I have had a dream to write a book since I was a teenager.  This dream has slipped out of my hands twice already (I'll explain more in another blog post).

Now the reality of the dream is about 90 days away.

(Which hardly seems possible!!!!!!!!!!).

I had to find a way to close off my real life... and slip into a hole to do that head-down, hands-on, focused editing.

Students, you know what I'm talking about. You have to edit papers, do projects, study for exams.

You need your full concentration.

But your life, and the people in your life, need you.

School needs you, too. And just like I committed to write a book. You committed to college... and all the work and hours it entails. 

So what's the communication lesson here?

Sometimes you need others to leave you alone during those monster project periods! Or maybe you have other needs! But how do you do that? Here are some tips, which I just took myself...

-Tell those close to you exactly what you're doing: "I have to cut 100 pages from my manuscript!"

Saying "Damn, I have this huge project to do!" is too vague. I had no problem telling my close friends, casual acquaintances, Twitter pals, my running buddy, even the store clerk (okay, not quite) the magnitude of my challenge. Every time they said, "Hey, how's that editing going?" I felt a renewed determination, particularly at the moments that I really felt like giving up. I'm not a giver-upper in any sense of the word (hello, pudgy, penguin-y 1/2 marathoner here!), but I struggled... for sure! Those who knew kept me going.



-Ask clearly and directly for the "non-negotiables" to support your goal: "I'll need to be in my room where it's quiet so I can concentrate. I'm going to need about 20 hours to work on this, so you won't be seeing very much of me."

Be very specific about your needs! Saying, "Why can't you just give me some time to work?" or "I need quiet!" is too vague of a statement.

-Don't forget to ask for help at the second you realize you need it, and definitely give updates along the way: "I think I'm on track to meet this deadline. Here's what I've gotten done so far. I'm a little bit stuck on this other part, though, and I need help." 

My editor and I had largely been communicating via e-mail, but after a few back-and-forth's, I totally picked up the phone and asked for her help in the places I became stuck. If can put my tail between my legs and do it (does that quote ever get old?), so can you!

-When your project is done, use some repair words if you've neglected someone a bit too much, "I'm sorry I got a little short with you. I felt really stressed and worried about how I was going to get this done and I didn't mean to take it out on you." 

After literally not seeing me most of last week, my 8-year-old expressed considerable discontent. She missed me, and when she tried to curl up next to me quietly to do her homework or read, she was... well... distracting. Too distracting for the intense editing I needed to do.

Once I turned my "skinnier" manuscript in at 9:47 last Friday evening (on my 16-year wedding anniversary--talk about an on-board spouse!), on Saturday morning, I cuddled my little girl and tried to liken her third-grade teacher to my editor, and her Writer's Workshop stories to my book. I asked her what would happen if she had to cut 100 pages from her stories, and she said, incredulously, "That would take me three years!" After I explained myself, we did some reading, more cuddling, and I believe all was forgiven.

Have I had other big, "testing" deadlines or projects in the past 14 years that have forced me to shut myself away? Of course, I have. 

But, like my graduate work, this book feels intensely sacred, and so incredibly personal.

It represents many twists and turns in my life... failures and successes... and finally, after conceiving of the idea eight years ago, a full-circle moment.

And, just the idea of being the recipient of so much--gulp--criticism... brings me right back to those student years.

So, wonderful student, just like my editing marathon, and the next one that I'm sure will follow (and the one after that) won't last forever, neither will your current papers, exams that require hours of studying, or projects.

Talk about all the support you need:  Time, a well-lit, quiet room, a "check-in buddy" to ask how many more sources you found for your research paper...  a hamburger.

You just might get it.

And, hey, ask for a little help with the laundry, should you find that it's piling up.

Students, how do you get the time, space, and quiet that you need to get your studying or writing done? Colleagues, what recommendations do you have for students who don't have lives that seem to support the hours or environment needed for college work demands? 

Five Communication Strategies for Summer School Success!

Can't you picture yourself reading on this comfy chair?

In my last post, I talked about one of my summer classes at my former community college in Nevada. 

You remember:  I got a "C" and I am at peace with it! (My name is "Ellen"... You:  "Hi, Ellen!" Couldn't resist.)

In that post, you may recall that I communicated exactly twice during that class:

Time #1: I feebly tried to ask my prof if there was anything I could do to improve my grades.

(The answer was "No." What creative, out-of-the-container thinking was I expecting when my prof's teaching method of choice was lecturing from a legal pad for three hours?);

and

Time #2:  I passed notes.

(Not my finest hour of student behavior).

We can safely say that I made some mistakes in that class. Now, after spending years in school and now as a prof, I know better. After I published that post, I remembered that I was talking about summer school, and taking summer classes can pose special opportunities and challenges.

The good about summer school?
-You get to pick up some extra credits in a shorter period of time.
-The classes run for fewer weeks.
-The workload is typically distributed differently than in a regular-term class. By the way, it's a false sense of security to believe that you will have far less work in a summer term or that the work is way easier.

The challenges with summer school?
-You may be a little burnt from the rest of the academic year and need a break, but can't take one.
-The classes run for fewer weeks.  
-The learning requirement/workload feels way faster than a regular term... because it is.

Whether you're new to this blog or a two-month veteran of it (as in, when I started), you know that I believe communication skills up your success capital in college. Summer school is no different. Here are five talking strategies to do your best while you're there:

-Talk to your professor on the first day!
This is a two-parter:  If you've read my previous blog posts, you know my ongoing theme is "early" when it comes to talking to your profs about goals or getting help. The pace of summer school means that you have no time to waste. If you "need an 'A'", or any other grade, in that summer school class, see the prof before the first class, after the first class, or walk with him/her out to the parking lot if you have to (but no stalking!).

Say, "I am looking to earn at least a B in this class, and hopefully an A. Do you have some advice? Will you review work early?"

You simply don't have the time to find out in week 6 that you are not getting the grade you want. So, hatch your plan on the first day of summer school!

then, part two...

-Talk to your professor every day, if necessary!
Have I mentioned in this post that summer school moves at a quicker pace? That you may feel like you have to learn at lightning speed? (I believe I have!). If you struggle in the shorter timeline, there aren't as many days to pick up the pieces. So, ask for help as often as you need it and be extremely proactive with your professor!

In fact, don't just rely on your prof for help: A summer term is a great time to familiarize yourself with other on-campus resources. Ask your prof, "Can you tell me what tutoring, resource centers, or other campus help might be available?" Then go to those areas and check on the summer hours.

It might be tempting to drop your summer class, and the only way I'd even consider recommending this is if you and the prof collaboratively determine that you are far in over your head (On this note, it's not the wisest decision to take your toughest class in the summer unless you can devote every waking hour to it, and to getting help for it). Otherwise, this accelerated schedule is a great time to pump up your work ethic, become brilliant about locating help for yourself, and get to know on-campus services that you may not have needed or had time to investigate.

-Ask about your prof's office hours or e-mail availability, if this is not abundantly clear in the syllabus.
Most profs feel just like students do:  It's a long year; we want to hook up some summer! Profs do not usually have committee work or regular meetings over the summer, which means that they are not available on campus as much. This could be a disadvantage for you if you need a good deal of help. If your syllabus doesn't tell when your prof is available, either in-office, on the phone, or on e-mail, then make sure you ask. This way, you can schedule yourself around the times that your prof is there for you.

-Chat up classmates--quickly! 
In your summer classes, you are likely to have both students who have been at your college a while, and you might have others who are just there to pick up a class or two. These "others" could be folks from the business world, or, they might be students who are home from other colleges and picking up a few summer credits.

Meeting these new classmates offers great opportunities for you to:

a) make new connections that you can bridge into the fall term--can't have too many fresh study partners or friends, right?;
b) find out about an actual student's experience at a college you may consider attending;
or
c) meet a new professional contact, if the person is out in the workforce already.

But don't wait until mid-summer-term to start chatting with someone of interest! Summer is shorter and nurturing new friendships and networks takes time. Try making some small talk, such as:

"I see that you have U of X logo on your backpack. Was last year your first year?"
"I remember that A & P book. Do you have Professor Jones?"
"You said on the first day of class that you work for the city. How long have you worked there?"
"Didn't you and I have Environmental Science together last semester?"

-Get to know profs-to-be.
It's hard not to count down the seconds before summer class ends so you can sprint to your car, get to work, or hit the pool or beach. However, if you will remain at the same institution for your fall term, sticking around campus after class, or getting on campus an hour or so early, can give you a head start for later. Here's why:

Many students know their fall schedule when taking summer classes. This gives you a golden opportunity to meet your profs well before the term starts, if they are on campus during the summer.

Why not go visit a prof or two, say hello, see if you can grab a syllabus, and even check out the textbook? If you have a special issue with a course, or have particular goals, even more reason to see the prof early and say,

"Hello, I'm Ellen. I'm looking forward to taking your class, but have an intense fear of public speaking. Have any early suggestions I can use?" (Saying, "I just wanted to let you know" is also fine)

or...

"Hello, I'm Ellen. I know this is really early, but I'm in your class this fall. I'd love to see a syllabus if you have one so I can learn about the class and prepare myself."

The personal connection will make you feel more comfortable when you walk into a prof's class on the first day.

And, if your feelings aren't warm and fuzzy about the prof or the class, guess what? You have plenty of time to get out of that class and change your schedule.

Prof off for the summer? The department secretary might have access to a syllabus from the previous term.

I sincerely hope that you have an incredible summer that is full of barbecues, lots of (safe!) sunning, outdoor movies, vacations... and the college credits that you seek.

Communicate--not by passing notes like I did--and make it so!


For students who are summer school veterans, what are your tips for success? Colleagues? What would you tell students about summer school?