An Unexpected Update to Last Week's Post... Going it Alone When Your Support Isn't Supportive

“I didn't have a chance to ask this young woman how she communicated those changes to others in her life. Other patients began filtering in because it was a Saturday in an Urgent Care, after all.”

Remember this post from last week? 

Guess what?

The lovely receptionist I referenced remembered my blog, read about herself, and sent me an e-mail responding to the above! 

Quick recap, she decided to change her major and her career path several times… and is just about to get back into college. As you will see, the support she received when she conveyed her change of mind--and major--wasn’t exactly supportive.

Can you relate? I can! Read on...

*****

She's alone... but going up!

Ellen,

I had the pleasure of speaking with you when you were in my Urgent Care.

I want to take this moment to appreciate you in all the ways that you have already helped me in my decision making. Even simple starter conversations can make such an imprint in someone else's memory, and for that I am very grateful.

By chance this afternoon I remembered your blog. I thought I would give you an answer to your question...which is a tad more complicated for just explaining on a Saturday morning. How did I explain my decision to my family/those close to me...

Truthfully, school has been out of reach in my family, but I have had a supporter in one particular family member. I hold this person, both personally and professionally, in the highest regard… until I shared this recent decision about my new major/career path.

I was expecting the usual acknowledgement and offer to help me plan that I’ve always received, but instead, the response was, “Those people are GENIUS. I don't think..."

I was so hurt. Hearing this doubt made me doubt myself. I have decided to use this doubt to push myself harder, and hopefully even if it isn't what I want, I'll get somewhere and the doors will continue to open for me like they always do.

I have also decided to inform no one of my decision. At this point I feel like I would be doing myself an injustice if I let their negative and doubtful opinions ruin my own support system that I have created for myself.

I have never felt more empowered to do something, and I feel like I can accomplish it. Why should anything stop me?

I hope this let you in on the dynamics of how difficult the choice can even be on oneself, let alone those around to influence.

In my particular circumstance I am grateful for the opinion of strangers who just want to listen, like yourself.  Thank you so much again, for even just the conversation, because positive affirmations are what count. I can safely say that I have never felt so good that someone like you was so interested in what I was doing...I felt validated and it really helped me. This week alone I have applied to four colleges.

I do hope our paths cross again, and I am now a devoted reader.

Thank you!

Student                                               

*****

I’m going to hold my response to this student until next week. In the meantime, what would you say? Have you been in a similar situation, without support, but determined to find your way… alone? Let's get some discussion going!